December 3, 2015
I’ve always wanted desperately to have a great nickname. My last name is Hurley and the closest thing I ever got to any nickname was “Hurls.” Not really a great nickname. It made me sound like someone who threw up a lot.
(Have you met my buddy, Hurls?)
I work in Reality TV and have been involved in the production of dozens of shows. On almost every show I work on I try to find one nice, quiet, unassuming person on the crew and give them the nickname “Duke.” I figure a name like “Duke” is going to beef up their cred and give them a confidence boost. I’d like to think that in almost every case the person I designated as “Duke” enjoyed the gig more than the typical job. I mean who wouldn’t want to wake up early to get to work if people we’re going to greet you with, “Good morning, Duke!” I’m an incredible humanitarian!!
It was also secretly my hope that one day the five or six people I had nicknamed Duke would all wind up working on the same show creating a unique glut of confusion that comes with multiple people having the same awesome nickname.
(“OK, a delivery for Duke. I’ll need a last name.”)
I’ve always believed there are huge advantages to having a fantastic nickname. If someone has one you almost immediately like them and want to hang out with them. You might find out they’re a douche but not until they’ve already got their foot in the door and isn’t that half the battle? That’s why I NEED to come up with phenomenal nicknames for the boys. The earlier I start using them the better the chance they’ll stick.
Here are the top ones I’m considering.
Arthur
Snake – He’s got a lot of attitude and quiet confidence. He’s a lot like Kurt Russell in Escape From New York. Would I have to get him an eye patch?
Blade – He’s got sharp finger nails that cause him to scratch himself a lot. Maybe a cool scar would give this nickname even more credibility!
The Black Panda – I came up with this one this morning on my way into work. It gave me chills. Would you ever get into a fight with someone who went by this nickname? It makes him sound like a husky assassin. I’m going to sit with this for a few days and see how I feel about it.
The Mayor – This one coveys more of a friendly and wordly type of personality. The Mayor is the type of guy who drinks with a large group at a bar, pays the bill for everyone secretly and then leaves without saying a word. Everyone loves the Mayor and Arthur seems like the type of guy who would enjoy getting other people drunk.
Charles
Spoons – This would be a great nickname but only if Charles picks up a musical instrument like the trumpet or drums. I can see him in a band playing a juke joint when the front man shouts, “And Spoons on the drums!” just before Charles goes into a drum solo. Spoons would get A LOT of ladies. A LOT!!
Viper – It’s a classic and a favorite. I’m not sure if Charles is brooding enough to pull this name off though. Viper seems like a man of few words and Charles definitely seem like someone who will wear his heart on his sleeve.
Diablo – I like this nickname because it has urban flair. Living in Los Angeles there’s a large Latino community. This nickname would open up a whole new ethnic group to him. Unless they want to kill him because he’s an incredibly fair skinned guy with the nickname Diablo.
The Count – Some of the best nicknames are royal titles. The Count is the person who you hang out with because he knows a guy who knows a guy. It’s always exciting to spend a night with the Count. You never know who you’re going to meet!
Of course I’m open to suggestions. If anyone wants to weigh in with some badass nicknames for my sons I welcome them. What would you expect from someone who people called “Hurls.”
Least Favorite Child Results
I’ll just say it now. Charles is going to run away with LFC honors for this past week. I’ll just write down what time he decided to wake up each morning over the past week and that should say it all.
November 26 – LFC is Charles. Wake up time: 4:17am
November 27 – LFC is Charles. Wake up time: 4:32am (thanks for letting me sleep in)
November 28 – LFC is Charles. Wake up time: 3am-ish. I was so tired I could only make out a blurry three on my iPhone clock when he decided to start the wake up process.
November 29 – LFC is Charles. Wake up time: 4:11am. Talk about soaking in some sleep. Stop spoiling me Charles.
November 30 – LFC is Charles – 3:32am. Drive time radio guys don’t wake up this early.
December 1 – LFC is Charles – 3:47am. BTW, 3-4am is prime infomercial time on TV. Did you know in order to get those great deals you have to “Act now!”
December 2 – LFC is Arthur! I jumped out of bed to a horrifying noise. I was sure Winston was in the throws of death with a wild animal who had wandered into the house. It sounded like a racoon either being slowly devoured or having a loud anxiety attack. It was neither. It was Arthur. He wouldn’t share why he needed to make such a blood curdling noise. He just continued to make it for another half hour. The memory of that sound now prevents me from ever sleeping so Charles wake up times aren’t as big a deal anymore.
Total Days As Least Favorite Child
Charles – 81
Arthur – 66
Days Tied – 1
Days Since Neil Patrick Harris received my post and hasn’t responded – 129
AtomicMelanie said:
I’m willing to loan my own nickname to Charles: “Nightmare.” I earned it in the Navy. One night I was asleep in my rack, had a nightmare, woke up with a scream, fell out of my rack and hit the deck! Ever since then, I was known as “Nightmare.” Funny then, kinda cool now. Sounds like your man Charles is earning it! 😉
LikeLiked by 6 people
stephenmhurley said:
Melanie, if you obtain a nickname in any branch of the armed services, you’ve earned instant nickname cred!!!
LikeLiked by 4 people
LivingJen said:
I have two nicknames and one of them is “Nightmare” too! Although, I got mine because one of my staff referred to me as a “Nightmare” once, which everyone else in the office seemed to find hysterical (I’m known for being a fair manager, she was upset because I’d caught her out lying about one of her family members dying so she could infact go to an exercise class – go figure). From then on my boss referred to me as “The Nightmare on Richardson Street” (being the street our office is on). It still needs a long winded explanation to any new staff members who hear it and don’t know the backstory though! Cringe!
LikeLiked by 2 people
TanGental said:
Scylla and Charybdis; looks like you’re caught between two monsters
LikeLiked by 3 people
Andrew Krehbiel said:
Best way to come up with nicknames is to not try to come up with nicknames. Melanie didn’t even try to get her badass nickname, and look what happened? Trust the process, and your boys will eventually have sweet nicknames.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Aidan not Aiden said:
I have to agree here. You can’t force these things, that just have to happen.
Plus, as a former child of parents who tried to be my friend, I can attest that no matter how cool the nickname you come up with is, they will probably hate it by default just because YOU came up with it.
LikeLiked by 3 people
stephenmhurley said:
Hey Andrew and Aiden. I totally understand what you guys are saying. I’m not actually going to start calling my kids Viper or Blade. Although if that does come naturally I’d be delighted.
LikeLiked by 3 people
susanasummer said:
This was funny 🙂
Maybe take into consideration your little guys as a team–which nicknames go together well? Personally my favorite choices you mentioned are “The Mayor” and “Viper”. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
simplygiselle said:
Come up with something quick.. “Farty-Arty” is on the back of every kid’s mind just waiting for the right moment to happen.. and it will…
LikeLiked by 2 people
E said:
Niiiice. Arthur could always be Ace which might make him awesome at cards and flying. Charles though… Charleses have a ton of normal nicknames, but I don’t like most of them. Charlie, you’re doomed to Charlie Brown loser status. Chuck, you have Chuck Norris, but you also get upchuck. With a last name of Hurley that’s just trouble. Chas… hmm… maybe he’d grow into wealth and the appropriate snobbery?
LikeLiked by 3 people
Martin Cororan said:
There’s something fundamentally wrong in the concept of this blog…in a good way!
LikeLiked by 3 people
apprehensively expecting said:
How about Steve and Bigalo? I wouldn’t presume to guess which would be anointed with the specific honors, but having a kid nicknamed another random name that has nothing to do with their given name has the initiation of a great story, and would simply be hilarious looking at the confusion on other people’s faces when your kid would have to clarify that his name isn’t actually Steve. Bigalo just has a nice ring to it with the potential of rhyming with other random or inappropriate words…I mean, isn’t that the point of middle school?
LikeLiked by 3 people
stephenmhurley said:
I like the idea, but my name is Steve which might confuse things. Maybe Dave instead of Steve?
LikeLike
apprehensively expecting said:
Dave is always a good, solid name for this type of thing. It all depends on the type of confusion you are aiming for. Mike also works. The possibilities are endless…
LikeLiked by 1 person
apprehensively expecting said:
Incidentally, if my son woke up in the three and four am range, I’d seriously consider trading him in for a better model…
LikeLiked by 2 people
jmcadam said:
Hurls, I think Charles and Arthur’s nicknames should reflect things that go together: they are twins.
Charles:Fish and Arthur:Chips.
Charles:Vegemite and Arthur:Sandwich.
Macaroni and Cheese, Shoes and Socks, Biscuits and Gravy, Bucket and Mop.
You could shorten any of these. Charles: Buckie and Arthur:Mopie.
Just a thought.
http://www.drinkingwithflies.wordpress.com
John
LikeLiked by 3 people
wscottling said:
As an identical twin, I oppose this idea. I would have hated that with a fiery passion.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Todd Duffey Writes on Things said:
A and C Hurley – the the Tosser brothers. (Hurl/Toss)
Your boys are going to mutiny on you when they realize how much pressure has been built up over social media about them. And only then will the tattoos and the machine gun fake legs begin. Watch your back, SH – they’re comin’ for ya!
LikeLiked by 2 people
sakuritytest'">sdf<<<<%&&egor said:
Reblogged this on sakuritytest.
LikeLike
stephenmhurley said:
Sakurity Test, not only did you reblog it, it looks so much nicer on your site! Thanks!!
LikeLike
allison3780 said:
If my daughter only knew the nickname she has right now… Stinkerbell! Haha. Thankfully she is only 3 months old and that won’t stick forever. Anyway, I think Spoons is cute. And I vote for The Mayor for Arthur, though someone will no doubt call him “Arty-Farty” or “Art the Fart” as simplygiselle pointed out. Whatever you decide, say it with love. They may hate it during the rebellious phase, but they will remember it fondly when they grow up. My parents had some goofy nicknames for me that I have grown nostalgic about as I’ve aged. So, good luck and enjoy those adorable boys!
LikeLiked by 1 person
mommyalli said:
LOL! this your nicknames are so funny! My husband and i gave my youngest daughter the nickname “polar bear” cause shes so white and round and cuddly like a polar bear! Our sons nickname is “Little Terror” cause he destroys EVERYTHING hahaha crazy kid… we actually have different nicknames for my oldest daughter… i call her Mermaid cause we named her Ariel (after the little mermaid :))… and my husband calls her jigaboo LOL i have NO idea where that came from.
LikeLike
stephenmhurley said:
OMG, Alli, “jigaboo” from where I come from is not a name you want to call someone. I’m sure you have no idea but it’s a derogatory term for African Americans.
LikeLike
mommyalli said:
OMG! are you serious?! O_O …. I have NO idea why he started calling her that or where it even came from… but now I think I’m going to ask…. >_<
LikeLike
stephenmhurley said:
I don’t think anyone uses the term anymore. I remember hearing it when I was very young. Being originally from the East Coast of the United States you get a crash course in offensive terms.
LikeLiked by 1 person
mommyalli said:
Ahhh okay. I just asked him he said he heard it from a movie & when she heard it she said it funny so he just started calling her that LOL!
That’s cool you got a crash course in offensive terms!! Lol!!
LikeLike
1 Nothing Please said:
Omg I always wished I had a cool nickname! The kids are lucky to have such a thoughtful dad who is already thinking of these important issues 😀 Ironically, I am writing this in bed at 4am which seems to be my latest bed time. Now who’s the real child between Charles and I…
LikeLike
Biro Jasa Perijinan Usaha said:
LOL..that was so funny and cute 🙂 I always dreamed I had a nick name that makes me look like super hero!
LikeLike
The Hopeful Wanderer said:
I didn’t see anything below NPH’s post . . . Should we be worried?! Or is it just by my phone?!
LikeLike
steviehurley said:
I have to say my nick names are harsh that I grew up with I got cold stevie nicks stevie wonder or ms drunkerd please come to front office or my fav for my middle name I moan dur to that’s what Naomi is spelt backwards. my married last name is hurley my husband calls my oldest baby buritto due to her looking like a baby wraped like a buritto after she had a bath she was 11 months old:) my youngest is 6 months old and he calls her hunny terd. I know that what ever you choose will be wise and good luck:)
LikeLike
stephenmhurley said:
So we share the same name! Fantastic!!
LikeLike
steviehurley said:
yes it is 🙂
LikeLike