July 31, 2015

We all know at least one person who’s joyously eccentric.  Someone who’s an upbeat oddball.  The weirdos who let their freak flag fly and dance to the beat of a different drummer.  I’m talking about the people who are very strange and make no apologies for it.  They own who they are and they love themselves completely.

I really hate those people.

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(I would hate this guy on sight)

It’s not that I hate their weirdness.  I just find it far easier to relate to people who have insecurities. I connect much more with someone who’s knows enough to be embarrassed that they’ve shame eaten a Snickers Bar in the handicapped stall at work.  Or the type of person who views going to the beach as a humiliating punishment rather than a day of frolic in the waves despite what they look like in swimwear.  And when you think about it, isn’t going to the beach the same thing as taking a nap in your underwear in front of 500 strangers?  It’s terrifying.

I think all babies, not just my Boys, could stand to work on being a little less well adjusted.  They all think they’re perfect.  Have you ever spent time with someone who thinks they’re perfect?  It gets very annoying very quickly. Personally I think I’d find them much more endearing if they had a little self doubt.

Imagine how cute they’d be if they stuck out their bottom lip because someone came over for an afternoon visit and they felt embarrassed that they were still in their pajamas?  Or they suddenly stopped paying attention to the mobile over their swing seat because they realized they were drooling and everyone could see?  They have “accidents” 3 or 4 times a day.  I don’t want them to get a complex over that, but as an adult I’ve had an “accident” or two and it’s certainly kept my ego in check.

I don’t want them to become emotional wrecks.  I just don’t want my children to grow up to become the guy who goes to Comic-Con wearing an ill fitting Iron Man Suit who gets mocked but doesn’t care.

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What I’m suggesting is that we put these babies on an accelerated program to give them some suitable insecurities that prepare them for the future and ease our workload.  Maybe if they were more concerned about my opinion of them, they’d think, “You know what.  I can wait until 6am to scream for food.  I don’t think he got to bed until Midnight.  Let’s give him another hour.”  That’s the type of thing a little insecurity can do.  It can buy some compassion and I think we can all do with some more of that.

When I think about it, I’m pretty sure that insecurity is the foundation of everything great that’s happened in the world.

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(Here’s a guy who was so insecure about his hair he developed the theory of time travel which gave us the Back To The Future Movies)

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(So insecure about his disability that he lead us out of the Great Depression)

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(His insecurity lead to deep depression.  Result?  He freed an entire race of people!)

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(Very insecure with his looks growing up and his inability to grow a moustache.  Did pretty well for himself)

There you have it, babies.  You could take a long look in the mirror, realize you have stuff to work on and go on to become any of the people pictured above.  Or you can continue to think you’re the shit and become this.

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Or God forbid, this.

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Least Favorite Child Results

July 30 – Arthur is least favorite.  Due mostly to his attitude while getting changed into his outfit for the day.  Look at the total disrespect.  Another example of thinking he’s too cool for school.

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Charles on the other hand seemed appreciative of the panda themed duds.

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Total Days as Least Favorite Child

Arthur – 26 Days

Charles – 22 Days

Days Since Neil Patrick Harris Received My Post and Hasn’t Responded – 16

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