June 17, 2015

A lot of people think that one of the best things about babies is the way they smell.  When they’re not farting, pooping or spitting up they tend to have a uniquely pleasing odor that I have to agree is intoxicating.

I don’t know if I became jealous or just curious, but their smell tempted me to do what I did last night.  I threw a few of my shirts in with their baby clothes in the washing machine.  I pulled a shirt out of the dryer this morning and it worked.  I am definitely sporting a very strong baby scent today and I’m wondering if this will put my life on a new course.

Will smelling like a baby completely alter how people interact with me, even on a a subconscious level?  I’m waiting to see if people start talking to me in a more upbeat childlike manner or start smelling the top of my head.  Maybe they’ll have the uncontrollable urge to hug me and look at the person next to them and say, “Oh my God!  He’s so soft.”

The littlest facial expression I make is certain to be met with people remarking, “He just yawned!  Did you see that!  It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!!”  At some point I’m going to start hysterically crying for no reason to see if my co-workers start to sooth me or close their office doors and say to themselves, “I knew he was building to a meltdown.”

Depending on how things go I may even push the envelope and see if someone at the office is up for feeding or changing me.  We’ll see where the day takes me.

But I’m rocking some “baby smell” confidence today and am not above using this fragrance for evil as opposed to good.

As far as the Baby Rankings I can’t wait until these kids start showing a little personality.  I know they’re only four weeks old but right now their favorite status seems totally geared toward which little bastard costs me sleep, gave me what I interpret as a dirty look but is really just gas, or what they’re leaving in their diaper.  It’s getting old. But soon, they start losing points for laughing at my expense or defiant and willful behavior and I think that’s going to be a blast.

I think Charles will have to go down as the Least Favorite for June 16. It might be simply because Arthur shows the potential to share my favorite activity with me.  Sitting around and watching TV.

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If I can teach him the skill of absorbing the minimum of what his Mother is saying while simultaneously watching his favorite show, I’ll have given him a priceless gift.

Charles on the other hand continues to try to win over the Blue Elephant.

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I imagine their discussing more active interests like biking, hiking or some other hobby that will take me away from the passion I enjoy the most that Arthur seems to be taking to.

Least Favorite Child for June 16, 2015 – Charles

Total Days as Least Favorite Child

Arthur – 6 Days

Charles – 6 Days

We have a tie!!!

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